Saturday, May 31, 2008

itzy pitzy..

back from the hospital....

halfway went to meet the TF to vivo cos i'm transferring my starhub internet services to his name so that i can sign up for ym own mobile line under corporate individual rate.. LOL! =X lucky he agreed to help me. otherwise i donno how sia.. but this means i'm not entitled to the $100 off for being a hubber!!... =( sad sia... but nvm la. one can never have both sides of the world.. went to shop around, bought a top at GAP which i really liked it. =) very simple top la. but just simply loved it. =D he bought three shirts and a t-shirt also. haa. its GSS man!! makes me feel like going for a shopping spreeeeeeeeee... LOL! with him around, got card - which means alot of more extra discounts many places. hahha!! =XX oops... whatever.. den headed to queenstown to get his shoes, and had our dinner there. LOL! had the tasty small portion laska there, den went up for macdonalds cos that small portion laksa is simply not enough, just the crave. LOL! after which we went to hospital(again to me) to visit kiat and my grandmother..

Kiat is so funny. LOL! he spells TF's name as "qing qian".. LOL! den he wrote "thanks for coming qing qian." hahaha.. den i say " is qingdian not qingqian" den he wrote back "same la.." den we all laughed.. den he wrote this note, showed his sister and at the same time, pointed at TF - "china man"... LOLROLF!!! he's saying TF is china man!! LOL!!! Buay tahan him. ahaha kiat is lian pang ren.. LOL! he's darn funny la. hahah.. like ah pek.. keep repeating himself, thanking all of us for coming.. just glad he knows everyone cares for him la..=) the drama part was when i told them i go off first, visit my grandmother again den go home, he was typing a msg on his phone den hand signalled me to wait a while.. i thought what.. den when he finished typing his msg, he just put down the phone den waved bye bye to me.. -.-" everyone was like wondering what he wanna say den just laughed out loud when he just waved bye.. duhs.. lol. trick me. haha..

visit grandmother again.. she's sleeping, but seems differernt from normal again and still has fever..tomorrow dad's coming back... i wonder...............................................


whatever it will be, please just give her the best one..to be with grandfather and leslie, or remain with us... thank you..
"i love you grandmother.. i might not have showed enough but i still do.. "

the yo-yo game..

Yesterday was like a split second news for me as i received a phone call from my Aunt Madeline regarding about grandmother.. the doctor had called her and informed her of my grandmother's condition which was said to be critical as she hasn't been responding and reacting to the antibiotics given to her despite being changed for the seoncd time.. my heart sank totally.. i was so afraid, halfway through work while still on the phone with aunt mad, i cried.. hurriedly i went back into the office and pondered.. i was so afraid.. immediatly. i know i had to go visit her.. i rushed down by cab, still tearing.. upon reaching hospital, i went to visit her first. saw my Uncle alan who arrived shortly before me. Grandmother was so drowsy the qhole day. i was in the hospital from about 12pm, till night time 12am, she was just sleeping the whole day, once in a while she would open her eyes a little den close back in a few seconds, as if she was really tired. but it was just wierd.. We somehow had a feeling, that she seems to be just waiting for my dad to be back before she leaves all of us to find my grandfather..... And... my dad will be back tomorrow night.. i wonder what would happen..

I'm right now in the4 hospital with my laptop.. in front of her.. she seems to be so much better today.. awake and alert the whole day, eyes also open big big.. =) i'm glad.. doctor's latest report is that she's finally reacting to the antibiotics and her fever had gradually subsided.. which is a good thing. =) it really warms my heart to see her open her eyes and smile at me when she sees me.. like she did just now.. i'm here since 12pm, and she's awake till now.. i'm really glad for her... hope she'll recover and be discharged soon.. please.. god hear my prayer...

Kiat's condition has also improved alot! It's just so amazing that he recovered really fast, faster than any of us thought he would. he just went for his operaion yesterday night for his leg, i think is to realign his broken leg bah.. anyway he was quit crappy in the day when i visited him while visiting my grandmother.. he kept wanting to go toilet.. just come back from toilet say want to go again.. den he wrote down on paper "I until 9 nothing to do.." thats y he wants to go toilet.. as in just go about the place instead of staying at one place la.. ya.. he was very thankful and touched that so many people went to visit him.. =) well, at least he knows that everyone caraes about him and he won't be so negative.. he keeps wanting to go home but he still can't, so we are all encouraging him to be good and he will recover real fast liek he did already.. =) Jia You WoonKiat!! =D

For the past two weeks it has been basically hard for me as I was sick and had to come to hospital to visit kiat.. After which last week my grandmother was admitted into hospital for serious lungs infection and whenever i visit the hospital, i was hoping between grandmother's ward and kist's ward. Moreover she's my grandmother, and cause of her age, I had to visit her more..

Things hitting me one after another and before one is solved, another comes... gosh.. I'm really tired.. But I glad a have friends who are very caring for me.. =) especially some of my part timers and colleagues who were standing by me all the while, calling and checking on me each time making sure i have my meals, i don't go home late, I'm safe and sound. =) Thanks my friends, as all these had kept me standing still until now... =)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

tears in heaven...

I'm just so happy for him.. He's out of SICU finally!!! 12.5 days of battle.. he's sooo much better now!! gosh.. its just tears of joy.. =)

Went to visit him today. He had already changed to normal ward 11C bed 95.. its the same direction and angle of his SICU room, his bed is on the left hand side, centre one. Yea. Its so nice to see him being able to react and respond with us. He can write, sms, use hand signs, count people. haha. just like his old self. so drama funny. only thing is he still can't talk yet cos of his operation for his jaw. they kinda braced his mouth together so that he cannot open his mouth. it is temporary so hopefully very soon he can have it out. =) He have the Trachea which is same as my grandmother, that is for breathing aid. yea.

after visiting him, i went to visit grandmother.. den waited for jiabao and visit him again. not a while before we gotta go off cos i'm going somewhere else and jiabao gotta go home do her project. yea.

Jia you... you will be out of hospital soon. we are all with you kiat.. =)
thanks for hearing all our prayers. i know you will aid both of them and let them recover fast enough to be able for discharge right? =) thanks you so much dear god. love you..

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

wishing well..

It's another hectic day for me. Attending training course for e-purchasing this morning at DE, den went to Sentosa for my class. didn't even have time for lunch. Den went to TTSH to visit my grandmother, as well as kiat. Well, it seems further...

I didn't visit kiat outside his room, but near the main entrance of the ward. I didn't want to go nearer, cause from far, I could already see him, very very aggitated.. He kept struggling to get up, jerking the whole bed. Gosh.. It hurts to see him like that.. Understand from XueLian that he had already damaged several bed because of the metal thing that is installed through his feet. He kept shaking and jerking., resulting in the metal thing poking through the mattress and damaging it as well. He really is in great uncomfortability. But Kiat, You have to go through this and pull through this please...

Heard from his sister and mother that tomorrow he'll be out of SICU ward, going to some other ward which I'm not sure whether is normal A/B ward or some other special ward that has nurse for special care to him. But I'm very glad that he's out of SICU ward and that he's recovering fast. However, his sister says not to visit him still for the moment, till he's more stable cos it seems that he is very aggitated still currently. I didn't want to visit him that often but it just happen that my grandmother is also hospitalised, I had to visit her, so at the same time just went to visit kiat, but I just see him from far, didn't go close to him. Besides last saturday, I stood outside his ward, but he was already sound asleep.

Grandmother's condition is better. She could have her meals through her feeding tube, which she couldn't yesterday. I'm glad she's recovering again. =) Went for dinner with Aunt Teresa, Sis Jelaine, Aunt joyce, Uncle Alan and also Aunt Mad's maid. Well, we had quite some family conversations, though I don't really liked the topic. Everyone has their difficulties, like each of us do. There are many things which are beyond my control. Like the chinese saying goes - Jia Jia You Ben Nan Nian De Jing - Every household has its own difficulties. If only everything was so easy, no one would have to suffer in any way.

Just for one very simple thing - for hating my mother... Like I said, if they were in my shoes, they will know how I feel. The fact that she used me to cheat on my dad, is something that I just cannot accept. And the fact that she cheated me too. I just cannot accept it. That is why I hate her so much. But I still give her respect and face. That's the most I could do. The rest, gotta wait till I reach "that age" to understand then, as per they say. But still, unless you guys were in my shoes, otherwise please just don't comment much or even bring it up. Let time heal it. I don't want to be reminded about it each and every time. It makes me hate her more..

give me a break, just give me a break.
I know YOU read my blog. and this is specially for you.
How soon is soon? What do you mean by you know what you are doing? If you know what you are doing, things would not be like this today. You don't know at all. You are so stubborn. You don't even know how I feel. To have lost total trust in you. To think we were like so close in the past, but becasue of sone sucker hypocrite, because of YOU lying to me time and time again. I have totally given up on everything. And remember one thing, I'm not the only one that has lost the trust I had in you. Your relatives, your cousin who even wanted to sponsor to help yoiu create a website for your business, your cousin who you treat her more than a sister than me, the uncle who always ask you to go his place for mahjong, or talk about food cuisine and helps you out. They all have already lost the trust they had in you. And all these was done single handedly by YOU. Ask yourself this question - Is it worth??? When you need help in the future, who else can you turn to! She will not help you but she'll just bring you burden. Think for yourself. Can't you just get a stable job and do things proper with a stable salary before getting into any business. I'm totally tired of hearing you guys say soon soon soon. HOW SOON IS SOON?!?!?! one month? one year? 10 years?! it just seems that the "soon" never comes... please...

Monday, May 26, 2008

say a little prayer..

is this a karma?

my grandmother is hospitalised for serious chest infection- in TTSH.. I immediately went down to see her on Saturday night when Aunt Madeline smsed me that she's hospitalised. When I saw her, again my heart sank. it hurts to see her usual cheerful self with us, to be so uncomfortable now. And i realised, she has slimmed down a little. I hope she's okay, please keep her in your prayers.. thanks my friends..

At the same time, I went to visit him.. I saw the operation on his throat is done, and his mouth has one tube less, cos it's now attached to the thing on his throat. I didn't go in cause it was already midnight. From outside, I can see him clearly, without the neck braces anymore. And I could just know its still him. He had some scratches on his legs as while. An additional bandage around his left eye, think its some cream or lubricant to help him open his eyes without pain, cos close too long already. Can see that he is recovering quite fast also. But still, we all know it won't be the same as before. But most importantly is still he gets well soon.



Don't blame the maid - it's your mother anyway, why don't you just check yourself and blame yourself? Afterall, she's just a maid, not a nurse. And she's not MY maid Ayu. Its different. And it'll never be the same anymore.



It'll just never be the same anymore..

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

pause...

bacteria ain't good for health, especially wounded patients.. thus.. kiat's sister requests that we do not visit him everyday, for fear of bacteria entering him.. so maybe i'll just visit him say once a week or so bah.. anyway i need to catch up with my own health.. falling sick... yea.. but its nothing compared to him...

went to visit him today.. but didn't spend much time inside. cos scare his sister unhappy also. they are just worried for him la, so are we.. so we left in less than 15 minutes.. had dinner there, den went back with XueLian..

I'm having a nose that's stucked - i mean stucked nose.. jammed nose?? whatever.. irritating.. and stupid fever GO AWAY!!! -.-"


Dear Woonkiat, we might not be there everyday with you in the hospital, but we will always be with you in our hearts.. JIA YOU!!! We will wait for you...
Dear God, please continue to watch over him and bless him.. gratefully thankful to you...
I guess its time everyone knows the importance or treasuring each and everyone around you, tell them what you want to tell them, tell them that you love them - i did...

Monday, May 19, 2008

the believe.

I believe everyone's prayers are heard.. I went to see him today again.. He's sooo much better. I felt a great relief.. he's really blessed, with one nurse who is so caring, so happened to be someone from Holy High, for those of you who knows her - Xue Lian. She's 22 this year, born in 86 batch de. ya.. She's soo nice.. she helps alot.. kinda looked like special care - but we all appreciated it. She called him... and he responded. She said " WOONKIAT... IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, GRAB MY HAND..." and he did... he grabbed her hands.. he responded.. He even managed to open one of his eyes.. god.. thank you so much.. this afternoon when i arrived there at about 4.35pm, i was alone, standing outside his room, just looking over him. i dared not go in, for fear it would affect the test results of his brain. but his sister then later told me its actually okay to talk to him. just let him know he's woonkiat and i'm emmeline, his friend/colleague... i'm here to visit him.. stay strong.. blah blah blah.. main tihng is at least he knows he's kiat. cos he was all alone and labelled "unknown chinese male" when he was admitted to hospital, for he did not bring any identification with him... well.. i'm glad.. it warms my heart seeing how his family reacts for him, each time i tell them what i saw. when i was alone in the afternoon, the moment i reached there, i saw him moved his wrists.. and also saw him trying to move his body - i think its the unbearable pain he's suffering from.. i was told he's very naughty, he keeps trying to pluck out the tubes, thus they had to tie his hand. well, i understand this because my grandmother always does the same thing that we had no choice but to tie up her hands as well. its painful to the heart, but its all for their own good..

Night time, after his family went for dinner, i went in, stood outside his room, alone, and watch over him again. this time, i went in. but i did not utter a word.. i don't know why but i just could not open my mouth. though i very much wanted to. but it seems like my lips were glued to each other. i just cant seem to open. well.. after a while, i stood outside his room again.. the nurses went in to turn his body to other side so that his skin can breathe... Xuelian told me he opened his eyes again.. he's awake.. he responded to her.. just not long after all the nurses came out, his family came back.. i told them about him opening his eyes and moving and responding.. his parents, brother and sister went in immediately and talked to him.. it was such a heartwarming sight.. "kiat ar.. we are all here.. you must be strong. very soon we all will gohome together okay... must be good.. kiat ar.. you are okay.... very good boy... kiat ar... ... ..." it was really heartwarming.. he responded to them.. he grabbed their hands.. they were so touched.. his sister teared.. his mum don even want to leave the room.. after that i went in.. hoping to see his eyes opened.. but he went back to sleep - eyes closed again.. well.. it's okay.. i believe i will..

Dear woonkiat.. jia you.. we will all stand by you.. we are with you..


Dear god, thank you for answering all our prayers.. please continue to watch over him.. thank you lord..

impact

I think I'm having the impact because of the memories we used to have..
The special moments.. that one will never forget, especially if it is special to one.
It was special to me..
It is special to me..
Stay Strong.. we'll all be there for you..

Sunday, May 18, 2008

the dream..




Be strong, get well soon....

I had this dream last night.. that some fella called me up to tell me he's out of the SICU ward. and he could talk, and that fella passed the phone to him. I was talking to him...

I went to visit him again today. We were not supposed to talk to him or anything so as not to agitate him. However, when my other part timers visited him today, they didn't know.. aparently, i was told that someone talked to him. and they saw him teared.. once again, my heart sunk.. When I saw him today, its still the same. His sister came to talk to us and told us he's better today... Seriously, I don't feel good in me. Especially when we were about to leave, We went up, wanting to look for his family members and inform them. Upon reaching the ward, We saw his brother and sister, both with teary eyes. I told them we're going off, and asked again to see if he's okay. Once again his sister siad he's okay. I wanted to go in see him again but his sister said doctors said let him rest. I don't feel good. really. AND FOR CORRECTION - SICU doesn"t stand for SUB-ICU ward.. that stupid smart alec fella told me that. it actually stands for SURGICAL ICU WARD. It really hurts, alot...

Woonkiat.. please stay strong and be strong. be determined. just like the way you were when you skidded from your bike. You had minor injuries but you still wanted to go blading, you still went cycling and riding your bike. Though this time you might not be able to do so anymore, but there's still many other things you can do. Please.. be strong and pull through this.. we are all with you..

Whoever is reading, I beg you. Please help to pray for my friend, Whatever religion you are in. Please.. help me... Pray for his recovery. Pray for his health. Pray for his everything.

Dear god, i know there must be a reason to why you want to punish him. there must be a reason why this has to happen to him..but please i beg you.. please bless him to recover soon. bless his family... bless for his health.. please i beg you... thank you lord..I pray...


On the positive side, true friend is back from Taiwan trip and bought me stuffs! I just can't wait.. But that dear friend will the priority these days...




If it is possible, exchange me instead.....

the hit..


I don't really know how I want to start my feelings today.


My friend, my ex-boyfriend, my part timer, my colleague, Woonkiat......

He met with a fatal accident. He was knocked down by a bus 136 near his house, when he was riding bicycle. Initially, we all just thought he was missing cause i received a phone call this morning from Reymund asking me if I did contact woonkiat since yesterday as he hasn't gone home and cannot be contacted since then. I was already very worried from then, and tried all possibilities asking people around, his close friends and whoever I thought could be with him. But to no avail. Even till the afternoon, there was no news at all. Until the late evening at about 5plus, Someone called me and told me Woonkiat is found - In Tan Tock Seng Hospital now. My heart sunk... I was totally shocked and lost for words also after I hung up the phone. I was at my aunt house at Eunos then when Reymund called me and offered to come pick me up to go visit him together with JianLiang and HuiBing. I was told he's fine, by the friend who found him. BUT upon reaching TTSH and I called that fella up to ask which level he is in, I was told 3rd Level - which through my knowledge, I know it is the level for all patients under the Intensive Care Unit. I was like shocked. Initially I wasn't feeling that bad, until I came to find out that he is in the Sub-ICU Ward, I was like lost. I knew it was gonna be very bad. Leg broke and fractured, Lungs punctured ribs think got break, and jaw also kenna till need to go plastic surgery, that's roughly what I heard from his family. When I went in to visit him and saw him, my heart toally sunk. The water tap started to break loose and opened. I cried. Even now when typing this, I'm still not feeling good in me and still tearing but still can control. I couldn't bear to see him on his bed like this. Though he is conscious, but he's sleeping because they gave him morphine to keep him from the pain. It was so hurtful that it pierced through my heart. Angeline and Xavier was there as well and she also could not take it and cried. Its like first time our direct friend met with such an accident. Till now I'm still very worried.. All I wish for is that he get well soon and be out of the ICU ward ASAP. May God Bless his please..... he might not be able to ride his bicycle or motorbike anymore in the future...



"Dear God, Thank you for keeping him with us still, but please bless my friend to be out of the ICU ward asap, and that he can recover speedily. Please..."

Friday, May 16, 2008

exhausted..

it seems that owing sleep is really something that one cannot pay back. I'm really like totally exhausted already.. When can I ever feel energetic again? hai...

I don't know what is going wrong with me.. I've been a frequent late comer for the past few months.. keep overslept. I don't know man. Does stress causes such problems? f*** man.. I'm so sick and tired of myself also. How can I help myself?

Apart from all these exhaustness, I just want to say a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDATE TO MY DEAREST MISS HENG BILING! =D Though you can't meet me today, it's okay, nevermind. YOU WATCH OUT! LOL! joking la. haha. There will definitely be a next time no worries. As long as you're happy, everyday will be your birthdATE! =D haha! take care and I'm always around!!


on a side note - Is it time to look for a new home?? any recommendations??

Thursday, May 15, 2008

BBQ and fun! =)

woohoo... I'm like so tired... LOL. I want to talk about the small mini gathering BBQ we had from Monday to Wedesday. Jessie, Derick, Angeline, Xiaowen and I! =D haha. Just the five of us. we had a BBQ! cute right! LOL! It was very fun. Derick is our chef for both nights, LOL. Went to buy things den prepare den BBQ. He's a good chef! the food are all tasty and delicious! Especially the prawns wrapped with bacon. haha all of us was like asking for more(PEPSI)! -.-" LOL! towards the later part, Derick suggested that we play some games. LOL! it was like totally funny. haha.. we were sitting in one round. From clockwise - Jessie-Derick-Xiaowen-Emmeline-Angeline den back to Jessie. LOL! we were initially playing this game called "big fish small fish" whereby we have to use our hands for action. When we say BIG FISH, we have to do a small fish action, when we say SMALL FISH, we have to do a big fish action. den can reverse also. LOL! Jessie keep kenna to drink. LOL!! den we played 007. LOL! also very fun la. but i don't know how to describe it here. lol. it's like damn fun la. we were laughing all the way like mad. Angeline and I were like watching show. LOL. cos of Xiaowen and Jessie. LOL! Second night was only The four of us, without Xiaowen cos she had to go home for Dinner. ya. Jessie, Derick and I went for swimming first before going to FairPrice to buy more food for late BBQ. LOL! Angeline joined us for the bbq later. yea. we had fun talking all sorts of craps.. the most irritating part was that Don't know how they started to talk about ghost stories.. -.-" experiences in Downtown somemore! -.-" argh.. well. we all slept at about 4am, with Derick the first one to KO! LOL! den he started his engine.. -.-" from Proton Saga to Nissan Serena to Subaru to Evo. LOL! joking. hahha.. the sad thing is I start work at 7am!!! =( sad man... den go work super tired sia...

Its fun to have such cute gatherings once in a while. =)


When I start to feel sick and tired of everything, I mean everything...

Saturday, May 10, 2008

sick chicken..

Yea. the sick chicken for today is me. had a very bad headache and fever. =(, therefore couldn't go work today.



I went swimming last night after work with Jessie and Juli. it's been such a Loooooonnnnggggg time since i last went swimming man. like years years ago that i can't even remember when. haha. Had about an hour plus of swimming time. It's so fun and tiring at the same time. I was like swimming a little in the earlier part and i got tired. but after that just kept swimming thru and fro. Too long no swim liao. and didn't have goggles also. yea. Gonna get one soon. It's gonna be a routine. LOL. darn. I will not neglect my blades. ANGELINE STEVEN WOONKIAT XAVIER and cyclist ESMOND! PLAN A DATE AND GO BLADING AGAIN LEH!!! LOL! anyway, i swear, i'm gonna start a healthier life soon. whenever i have time, it'll be gym, swimming or blading. even alone - hopefully =X.. weight losing program.. LOL!!!



Getting quite sick and tired of everything, and i meant EVERYTHING. from home to work. Nothing seems to be right somehow. I really hate the fact that I'm always questioned about him - What is he doing? where is he? why he need so much money? why this why that. Freak! I'm not him so stop asking me!!! I'm not him!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

messed up feelings..

after another long period of crazy busy week preparing for the U Launch and the May Day Rally where by both events was graced by PM Lee Hsien Loong.. the "indirect" troublemaker for everyone. Its because of him coming, everythign has to be done like almost to perfection! 99.99999% perfect. gosh.. we had to iron like 1500 chair covers whereby most of it was done by xiaowen. LOL! =X poor her. i need to propose to Kat to do out one Diploma in Ironing and present it to Xiaowen liao. hahha.. ironvivor. LOL! whatever.. anyway all the setups done for both events were crazy. because there were sooo many last minute changes here and there. Its like a 5 minutes sentence to say for a 5 hour or even 5 days work to be done!!! hai.. but what to do.. thigns still have to be done.. tolerance lo... when both events was over, the feeling was like WOAH! so relieved.. thought there's another two more this weekend.. argh.. -.-" May Day Model Workers Award and the May Day Carnival.. the yearly events.. the yearly crazy events. LOL! =X all the May Day May Day events because its Labour Day month and NTUC is the chief for the Labour movement.. hai..blahs....


because of all these events, i can't do my project. too busy and jam packed with work issues that i totally cannot concentrate on my project. gotta rush off everything by end of this month. god save me!

finally had our Banquet BBQ last Sunday. It was a very last minute planned one, but still it was fun in a way la. yea. Thanks to all those people who turned up and also many thanks to Derick who drove me to buy the food and also helped us marinate the sotong and also the crab which weizhen they all suggested to ask him to help marinate. LOL!! wth.. Its gonna be paiseh if we don't ask him to stay for the BBQ, so we decided to ask and make him stay on for the bbq. at least not so bad la. haha. Jessie was so funny, cos she told me, if she isn't attached with her 10years bf now, she would have gone to woo Derick. LOL! i laughed my ass off!! =XX LOL! well he's nice no doubt la. haha. and to think Jessie could ask me to consider him. He's twice my age for goodness sake!! =X i'm 19 and he's 36! but hor.. jessie told me her parents age. Mum born in the 1950s and dad born in the 1930s.. i'm 1989 he's 1972...er.... LOL!! whatever la. haha..LOL! nonsense. haha. blah blah blah.....

The freaking sad and bad news for me.. I don't know gotta wait till when den can get my phone le. I went down to Cuppage road today - so freaking far - just to sign up for my corporate line and get a new phone cos my current phone is spoiled. I cannot sign up mobile line with Starhub anymore because I'm below 21years and I'm only allowed to hold only one Mobile line - which i already do because of the MaxMobile device which I've gotten for my brother. idiot la. and now he wants to sell off his laptoop, leaving me with that stupid device when i already have internet at home. hai... I really give up man.. the only way out is that i transfer the internet thingy to someone else's name and then i use my name to sign up for the mobile line.. hai.. who can i go to for help?? =/ hai...

For the last time I'm gonna say, I've totally given up on this f*****. I'm really tired, to the extend, i really don't even wish to go home at all. If I can, I owuld have moved out of this place. But it's because of one person that I tell myself I cannot do that - my dad. But he's also been giving me problems and stressing me out lately. I'm really tired. To the extend I've started to s**** alot nowadays. I'm really sorry about it but I can't help it. It's really pushing me too hard.



"The whispers turn to shouting,
The shouting turns to tears.
Your tears turn into laughter,
And it takes away our fears."
"Early Summer,
It's like playing on repeat.
Just like when we would meet,
When we would meet."
"Deep in my heart I'm concealing,
Things that I'm longing to say.
Scared to confess what I'm feeling,
Frightened you'll slip away,
You Must Love Me..."