starts with goodbye

so many advices given to me..

i need to be more cruel sometimes.. is it true?

i need to think of myself before thinking for others.. is it true?

i need to make sure i can live for myself before helping others.. is it true?

i need to give up on them.. but can i do it?


it is really frustrating on these issues.. over and over again. I'm not sympathizing myself. but i know what I'm going through now, is not what a 19year old girl should go through. yet time and time again i repeat these "mistakes". its not a real mistake but its just a wrong move i made to make myself suffer like this. I'm really tired of all these.. it will be a matter of time for me to decide for the worst, to move out and walk out of this matter..

"please be with me. it hurts to feel like strangers.."

clear the thoughts..

hey friends..

i really appreciate my readers for worrying for me or stuffs like that.. but.. just to clarify and make thigns CLEAR.. the person who threaten me is not anyone related to banquet. so STOP spreading unnecessary rumours that might unknowingly create trouble for me..


Thank you everyone for your concern..

and thanks fusheng, kennie and judy for the help offered too. =)




Loves,
Emmeline

scared or not??

when finally living for 19years, someone actually tried to threaten me to be careful..





i'm not scared mentally, but i'm scared physically... ... ...

a question to ask myself... if one day i were to really be in danger, who would really come to help me..??? i wonder..

class day again..

my class is such a nice batch of people.. we are all so unite man. hahah! and we're going for dinner after our wrap up session on the 28th April. Might be going to M Hotel or others. haha. we've decided to go to each of the hotels that one of us are working at. LOL! so cute.. its really a very fun class.. so much interaction, compared to MDIS is a whole total difference. We all got so much to talk about - though quite got to do with work also la. but its still enriching and enducating in a way.! I'm sure gonna miss them all after graduation. =/ and gosh. I have not even completed my project.. kill me man. yet more projects coming up! -.-" gosh.. 27th April is the official opening for E-hub and 28th is my presentation for my major project for this module.. ewww... i'm feeling so lousy man.. =(

wonder if its good news or bad. whoever working at downtown east with me and reading this. Someone is coming back to join the banquet department. To you all, he might be a good person, a good choice or whatever. But to me, he's not. However, I know work is work and personal is personal and I'm a fair person (I dare to say so). He might have created trouble here before and instigate people on some things but I'm not afraid. Because he's now gonna be a full time, he jolly well don't play punk with us or else, he'll bear the consequences. Don't try to play games either. He'd better wake up or else he's got NOWHERE to go.. And be it if this is a warning or what - if history repeats and anyone follows the instigation, i think no matter who you are, its off you go.. So.. Be wise and think before you do anything, or you'll bear the consequences. Don't ask me who, soon you'll find out. I don't have to say.. I'll just do what I have to do and I do not need to give any explanation for certain things. I'm a volcano that has erupted here once. A volcano will erupt again. So don't provoke me or else I'll erupt again and give you a piece of my mind.. I can be a very nice person but don't step over me or you'll be dead. Trust me.. sometimes, things need to have control is it is over the limit..


On the side note - I'm thinking if i should sign up with starhub mobile for a new line and get number retension.. my phone is no longer a phone man, its a TV. Nokia TV.. seen before? haha.. shall take a picture of it soon and show to everyone. LOL!!


take care to all.. Fool's day is coming... =D hahah!!

come to think of it - could it be a fool's joke? hmm.. cant be la.. whatever..

tying the knot of 10 years of love, and continue counting..

the fated
love...

looking at the express video of cousin Raymond and wifey Alicia, believe it of not, i teared. I don't know if its emotional or what. I recalled the day my aunt Joey was married.. my brother and I was over at their house since the morning and seen through the whole procedure.. from the early breakfast thingy till the make up and setting of hair, till changing to her gown to andrew coming.. i recall tearing at that time too.. I don't know why.. it just comes.. its like in the shoes of their parents " finally you tying the knot and getting married".

Don't know if I'm crazy or what.. but often i kept asking myself, what would mine be like? from the relationship to tying the knot. would it be blissful? like ray-cia.. 10 years.. since their secondary school days till now they are married.. so envious.. so loving.. when will i have that kind of feeling? It's good to be single.. but it's better to have someone to share your joys and sorrows with. and yet time and time i know i cant afford to get into one... I don dare, somehow, anymore. after the last which was 2 years ago.. the fear is there somehow.. thus i just gotta live life as per normal..

At work - I'm given a chance to upgrade myself, i may be prepared and have the ability to, but i just don't wish to be that high yet. I don't feel comfortable.. because of my surroundings.. however, its a good portfolio for myself.. a guranteed benefit. a gurantee proof that I'm good.. but. i don't know. people are saying that i'm stupid if i were to reject it.. I'm still considering and thinking about it. should i accept it or not.. *sigh its gonna be a double step up. how??

"the most important thing, is to be yourself... yes.. but i
think i ain't myself. i cant do the things i love, due to restrictions.. "

to the crew..

i didn't meant it to happened.. i was too strained.. too.. whatever.. but i will not blame anyone but myself still.. sorry guys..

hypnotized...

sometimes, the good times, DTE is actually a very nice place to work at..

however, the bad times, most of the times, it sucks.. sooner or later I'll die of heart attack or high blood pressure because of DTE. -.-"


I don't know if i should hate or like my character.. some of it.. i really hate it if i'm being accused of doing something i did not do.. and i will really fight all the way to INSIST that I DID NOT DO IT! fuck it.. can't you just admit that the fault lies with you and not me! if i was at fault do you think i would bother to go to your office to clarify with you?! i'm not nuts man! i really hate it man.. argh... why are there people like that! does mistakes but does not want to admit it.. COWARDS!

In the working society, there's two kinds of people.. the people who work smart and the people who work hard. Mostly and majority, the top management people are the people who work smart. they have no guts and they carry balls.. they do not dare to take full responsibility of something and will go to the extend of pushing the responsibility to their immediate boss. WTF! the other kind, are the people who work hard... these are mostly and always the lower management, the floor staff, the operational staffs.. they work hard and almost all their life away, taking full responsibility of things going on.. when thigns goes well, the credit goes to their immediate boss - the management. when things goes wrong, the fault goes to the hardworking staff thenselves - sacked or demoted or whatever.. ridiculous isn't it??!!

yea man.. i really am living a no day no night life.. and my dark circles!!!!~~~ oh oh oh... *faints*....




"i ain't a kiddo so don't try to fool my, you idiot!"

the fateful day

and i forgot to mention... on 6th March, i nearly had to bid everyone goodbye.. I fell down at the flight of stairs outside the kitchen at my work place!! I was walking really slowly though, but somehow i slipped and fell down the stairs. it was forward and not backwards.. gosh.. i felt really scared and i was holding onto the railing yet i'm not stopping!! i was still tumbling downwards. luckily there was an obstruction halfway through tyhe railing when i managed to grab hold of it harder and stopped there.. if i had not been able to stop, i would have hit my head and died there because NOBODY WAS AROUND TO WITNESS OR HELP ME!!!!


thank god i'm still alive...

the ME yesterday..

phew.. its finally my well deserved off day..

Been so so darn busy last week due to the Nanyang Girl's Life Skills Camp and the National Health Group Family Day at Downtown East.. goodness.. both events had made my blood boil and risen my blood pressure high..

Starting off with the lighter one first. Nanyang girl's Residential Seminar from 5-7 March was not really that bad la. its just the hours that i lost touch with, made me more and more tired.. The western course dinner was a well gone one.. Well, at least the feedback given was good and the idea I gave for the service was good. Sorry to the service staffs who had to go through with that hassle but at least it was paid off.. the organisers - teachers, was happy with it too! =) But due to the busy days, the planning was very last minute.. hope it was still okay la. Anyway its over le.

After the Nanyang Girl's Last day was the tear down and setup for NHG Family Day.. Everything was so rushing because the event is just the next morning!! gosh.. we rushed to clear the setup in D'Tent and D'Marquee den set off in two teams, one to follow me to set the theme parks and the other to follow din to set the Marquee and Terrace. D'Tent setup was a simple one and was done in a jiffy since all the tables needed was already there. yea. I brought the people to Escape to set up the place first while after unloading the first trip, they went back for the second trip to continue with the things needed. yea. took almost whole afternoon to finish the setup and went back for a break before setting off to Wild Wild Wet for the remaining setup. ya. Finished work at about 9pm.

NHG Family Day on the 8 March was an event which involves both Theme park closure and 15,000 people attendance. Well this is absolute crazy. These stupid doctors and nurses (oops! - i meant it though). They do not know how to tear their own coupons and expect people over the counter to do it for them. They do not know how to listen to instructions and rules. I won't forget that bitch who came to my food distribution counter and make a fuss over the packer drinks packed in their food. idiot. We pre-pack the food into bags of 2s to ease the crowd and thus we do not allow to change drinks otherwise it'll jam up the queue and also give my service staffs more hassle and things to do! this stupid idiot demands to change and when i refuse, she takes out the drinks and said " if that's the case den i don't want the drink". don't want don't want lo. as if i care if she wants it.. she den walked off, but never did i notice that she walked one round to my production counter and wanted to help herself with the other drinks! freaking idiot. To think i still had the patience to talk to her nicely and talk sense with her till she's got nothing to argue with me, she took the last resort - snatched the packet of drinks away just like that! FWOAH!! that really made me chant out some vulgar idioms man! Xavier(Angeline's bf) was just beside me and he started "eh cool cool!!" LOL!!! cause just before I encountered this problem with this guest, one of my part timer encountered the same problem with another guest and she just told the guest "Den you throw away the drink lo" LOL! i was still like asking her to cool down... these guest are like that. you gotta cool.... next thing i kenna.. such a joke. LOL! thought he crowd was terrible and the people who demanded for ridiculous things were indeed ridiculous, we still had lots of fun though, packing the food at the production counter like playing "Hot Dog Bush". LOL!! that's how WeiZhen and I Described it. haha. to think I've completed it and she hasn't. LOL! she still say she's gonna go back home and master it. hahah. Fun aside, i was totally angered by this two part timers whom Donavan introduced - His colleague's son and son's friend. From Banquet one SOMEMORE!! idiot. can you imagine! the GUY!! is sooooooo scared of dirty, that even when sitting on the floor, HE GOTTA PUT A PIECE OF RED NAPKIN AND SIT ON IT!! ARGH! that was atrocious man! they two gave really bad attitude and everybody was complaining about them. the girl. kept talking talking only. and when Faisal instructed her to do something, they actually told him "you go do yourself la" WTF! When weizhen asked the guy to clear only 3 stacks of chairs, he said " you siao ar!!" WTH! and even Angeline complained to me as well. I couldn't take it anymore.. I was with some part timers doing clearing at WWW and i demanded them all to go to the D'Marquee within the count of 15. I felt like i was in band again, just that, its worst this time. I shouted and screamed and scolded at them there and then. many were shocked too. Well, I guess being too nice to people doesn't really helps. This volcano will erupt one day just like then.. I asked the three of them out - including one more who was Angeline's friend - and i scolded them in front of everyone. I deducted 2 hours of their pay and asked them to immediately change and go home. The stupid idiot couple was late and arrived at 10am when they supposed to work at 8am. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, THEY HAD THE GUTS TO SIGN IN AT 8AM! F***** HELL MAN!! i was like totally wanna commit suicide to meet this kinda people. lol!! its true what! they don even have integrity in them. With this kind of F****** attitude, they can go NO WHERE! HELL!!!

In my few years of service with this company, from a part time waitress to a part time senior waitress to a full time junior captain to now a full time Captain, never once had i flared up and shouted at my whole group of part timers and moreover, send people back in front of my whole group. NEVER. I guess those people really should be honoured to be the first batch of people i send home. Even Weizhen told me, in her whole time with Banquet, never once had she saw me like that. The most was just asking people to shut their mouths up while I'm giving briefing ans that's all.. That Saturday was a dreadful one.. Its 8th of March.. World's Women Day. hahah. Maybe that's y.... LOL!!

Step up 2 is NICE!!! and so is 10,000 BC...


Missy Biling, I'm still waiting for you to watch The Leap Years.. QUICK!! =)

gimme a break...

i really had enough already... please.. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! i cannot take it already..

helpless..

i wished i was more free to do anything i want without much troubles.

i wished i was still a young child who can do almost anythings to make myself happy and get away with it.

i wished i could balance my social life and work life..

i wished i could tell everyone i love, that i love them..

i wished..

i wished.....

i wished..........

i wished i had the guts to say what i want to...

i wished everything i wanted to happen, turned out the way i wanted it....




i wished....... i was happier...