what the !!!!!!!

i feel even more frustrated today. like freak! you will tell me " what the!", "hur!", "this is too much", when i tell you what is happening. YET YOU ARE WITH THEM WHEN YOU ARE BACK! like now i say what the! i rather I'm not sleeping at home today instead of yesterday. like f***.. to think you were the reason that held me back from moving out. Now i really want to consider should i listen to everyone else's advice and my own will to move out. i really had enough. i think I've flooded enough tears in my poor room. perhaps.. it should be the way..

Kiat is much and much better each day i visit him - almost every other day unless I'm working night shift.. yea.. more and more tubes out of him.. which is just a great thing!! =D I'm very happy for him.. he's really recovering well everyday. and its so nice of him to ask his sister and dad to send me home.. though i was like damn paiseh.. but his sister insisted also so i can't say no too. chat a lot in the car during the journey back home. about work, him, studies and blah blah blah...

Grandmother's condition is still like a yo-yo.. *sighs* I'm really damn messed up with my feelings.. it's like.. when i visit grandmother, i feel really down and afraid.. when i visit kiat, i feel very happy for him.. duhs..

A colleague of mine - Paul Kan, has resigned. It was really shocking though i knew about it long ago and I know the reason. He's really a talent and nice person. It's really a waste. But it's better for him rather than staying on unhappily. The another shocking thing is, his dad passed away this afternoon cos of cancer. Though they didn't expected him to leave them so soon but he eventually did... My condolences to Paul but sorry Paul.. I can't make it to the wake for superstitious reason. I'm sorry. I'm visiting the hospital frequently, especially its my grandmother. I would not want to take the risk. Really sorry about it bro. I know you'll understand, Mr Tarzan..

"a million love songs later........"