itzy pitzy..

back from the hospital....

halfway went to meet the TF to vivo cos i'm transferring my starhub internet services to his name so that i can sign up for ym own mobile line under corporate individual rate.. LOL! =X lucky he agreed to help me. otherwise i donno how sia.. but this means i'm not entitled to the $100 off for being a hubber!!... =( sad sia... but nvm la. one can never have both sides of the world.. went to shop around, bought a top at GAP which i really liked it. =) very simple top la. but just simply loved it. =D he bought three shirts and a t-shirt also. haa. its GSS man!! makes me feel like going for a shopping spreeeeeeeeee... LOL! with him around, got card - which means alot of more extra discounts many places. hahha!! =XX oops... whatever.. den headed to queenstown to get his shoes, and had our dinner there. LOL! had the tasty small portion laska there, den went up for macdonalds cos that small portion laksa is simply not enough, just the crave. LOL! after which we went to hospital(again to me) to visit kiat and my grandmother..

Kiat is so funny. LOL! he spells TF's name as "qing qian".. LOL! den he wrote "thanks for coming qing qian." hahaha.. den i say " is qingdian not qingqian" den he wrote back "same la.." den we all laughed.. den he wrote this note, showed his sister and at the same time, pointed at TF - "china man"... LOLROLF!!! he's saying TF is china man!! LOL!!! Buay tahan him. ahaha kiat is lian pang ren.. LOL! he's darn funny la. hahah.. like ah pek.. keep repeating himself, thanking all of us for coming.. just glad he knows everyone cares for him la..=) the drama part was when i told them i go off first, visit my grandmother again den go home, he was typing a msg on his phone den hand signalled me to wait a while.. i thought what.. den when he finished typing his msg, he just put down the phone den waved bye bye to me.. -.-" everyone was like wondering what he wanna say den just laughed out loud when he just waved bye.. duhs.. lol. trick me. haha..

visit grandmother again.. she's sleeping, but seems differernt from normal again and still has fever..tomorrow dad's coming back... i wonder...............................................

whatever it will be, please just give her the best one..to be with grandfather and leslie, or remain with us... thank you..

"i love you grandmother.. i might not have showed enough but i still do.. "

the yo-yo game..

Yesterday was like a split second news for me as i received a phone call from my Aunt Madeline regarding about grandmother.. the doctor had called her and informed her of my grandmother's condition which was said to be critical as she hasn't been responding and reacting to the antibiotics given to her despite being changed for the seoncd time.. my heart sank totally.. i was so afraid, halfway through work while still on the phone with aunt mad, i cried.. hurriedly i went back into the office and pondered.. i was so afraid.. immediatly. i know i had to go visit her.. i rushed down by cab, still tearing.. upon reaching hospital, i went to visit her first. saw my Uncle alan who arrived shortly before me. Grandmother was so drowsy the qhole day. i was in the hospital from about 12pm, till night time 12am, she was just sleeping the whole day, once in a while she would open her eyes a little den close back in a few seconds, as if she was really tired. but it was just wierd.. We somehow had a feeling, that she seems to be just waiting for my dad to be back before she leaves all of us to find my grandfather..... And... my dad will be back tomorrow night.. i wonder what would happen..

I'm right now in the4 hospital with my laptop.. in front of her.. she seems to be so much better today.. awake and alert the whole day, eyes also open big big.. =) i'm glad.. doctor's latest report is that she's finally reacting to the antibiotics and her fever had gradually subsided.. which is a good thing. =) it really warms my heart to see her open her eyes and smile at me when she sees me.. like she did just now.. i'm here since 12pm, and she's awake till now.. i'm really glad for her... hope she'll recover and be discharged soon.. please.. god hear my prayer...

Kiat's condition has also improved alot! It's just so amazing that he recovered really fast, faster than any of us thought he would. he just went for his operaion yesterday night for his leg, i think is to realign his broken leg bah.. anyway he was quit crappy in the day when i visited him while visiting my grandmother.. he kept wanting to go toilet.. just come back from toilet say want to go again.. den he wrote down on paper "I until 9 nothing to do.." thats y he wants to go toilet.. as in just go about the place instead of staying at one place la.. ya.. he was very thankful and touched that so many people went to visit him.. =) well, at least he knows that everyone caraes about him and he won't be so negative.. he keeps wanting to go home but he still can't, so we are all encouraging him to be good and he will recover real fast liek he did already.. =) Jia You WoonKiat!! =D

For the past two weeks it has been basically hard for me as I was sick and had to come to hospital to visit kiat.. After which last week my grandmother was admitted into hospital for serious lungs infection and whenever i visit the hospital, i was hoping between grandmother's ward and kist's ward. Moreover she's my grandmother, and cause of her age, I had to visit her more..

Things hitting me one after another and before one is solved, another comes... gosh.. I'm really tired.. But I glad a have friends who are very caring for me.. =) especially some of my part timers and colleagues who were standing by me all the while, calling and checking on me each time making sure i have my meals, i don't go home late, I'm safe and sound. =) Thanks my friends, as all these had kept me standing still until now... =)

tears in heaven...

I'm just so happy for him.. He's out of SICU finally!!! 12.5 days of battle.. he's sooo much better now!! gosh.. its just tears of joy.. =)

Went to visit him today. He had already changed to normal ward 11C bed 95.. its the same direction and angle of his SICU room, his bed is on the left hand side, centre one. Yea. Its so nice to see him being able to react and respond with us. He can write, sms, use hand signs, count people. haha. just like his old self. so drama funny. only thing is he still can't talk yet cos of his operation for his jaw. they kinda braced his mouth together so that he cannot open his mouth. it is temporary so hopefully very soon he can have it out. =) He have the Trachea which is same as my grandmother, that is for breathing aid. yea.

after visiting him, i went to visit grandmother.. den waited for jiabao and visit him again. not a while before we gotta go off cos i'm going somewhere else and jiabao gotta go home do her project. yea.

Jia you... you will be out of hospital soon. we are all with you kiat.. =)

thanks for hearing all our prayers. i know you will aid both of them and let them recover fast enough to be able for discharge right? =) thanks you so much dear god. love you..

wishing well..

It's another hectic day for me. Attending training course for e-purchasing this morning at DE, den went to Sentosa for my class. didn't even have time for lunch. Den went to TTSH to visit my grandmother, as well as kiat. Well, it seems further...

I didn't visit kiat outside his room, but near the main entrance of the ward. I didn't want to go nearer, cause from far, I could already see him, very very aggitated.. He kept struggling to get up, jerking the whole bed. Gosh.. It hurts to see him like that.. Understand from XueLian that he had already damaged several bed because of the metal thing that is installed through his feet. He kept shaking and jerking., resulting in the metal thing poking through the mattress and damaging it as well. He really is in great uncomfortability. But Kiat, You have to go through this and pull through this please...

Heard from his sister and mother that tomorrow he'll be out of SICU ward, going to some other ward which I'm not sure whether is normal A/B ward or some other special ward that has nurse for special care to him. But I'm very glad that he's out of SICU ward and that he's recovering fast. However, his sister says not to visit him still for the moment, till he's more stable cos it seems that he is very aggitated still currently. I didn't want to visit him that often but it just happen that my grandmother is also hospitalised, I had to visit her, so at the same time just went to visit kiat, but I just see him from far, didn't go close to him. Besides last saturday, I stood outside his ward, but he was already sound asleep.

Grandmother's condition is better. She could have her meals through her feeding tube, which she couldn't yesterday. I'm glad she's recovering again. =) Went for dinner with Aunt Teresa, Sis Jelaine, Aunt joyce, Uncle Alan and also Aunt Mad's maid. Well, we had quite some family conversations, though I don't really liked the topic. Everyone has their difficulties, like each of us do. There are many things which are beyond my control. Like the chinese saying goes - Jia Jia You Ben Nan Nian De Jing - Every household has its own difficulties. If only everything was so easy, no one would have to suffer in any way.

Just for one very simple thing - for hating my mother... Like I said, if they were in my shoes, they will know how I feel. The fact that she used me to cheat on my dad, is something that I just cannot accept. And the fact that she cheated me too. I just cannot accept it. That is why I hate her so much. But I still give her respect and face. That's the most I could do. The rest, gotta wait till I reach "that age" to understand then, as per they say. But still, unless you guys were in my shoes, otherwise please just don't comment much or even bring it up. Let time heal it. I don't want to be reminded about it each and every time. It makes me hate her more..

give me a break, just give me a break.

I know YOU read my blog. and this is specially for you.

How soon is soon? What do you mean by you know what you are doing? If you know what you are doing, things would not be like this today. You don't know at all. You are so stubborn. You don't even know how I feel. To have lost total trust in you. To think we were like so close in the past, but becasue of sone sucker hypocrite, because of YOU lying to me time and time again. I have totally given up on everything. And remember one thing, I'm not the only one that has lost the trust I had in you. Your relatives, your cousin who even wanted to sponsor to help yoiu create a website for your business, your cousin who you treat her more than a sister than me, the uncle who always ask you to go his place for mahjong, or talk about food cuisine and helps you out. They all have already lost the trust they had in you. And all these was done single handedly by YOU. Ask yourself this question - Is it worth??? When you need help in the future, who else can you turn to! She will not help you but she'll just bring you burden. Think for yourself. Can't you just get a stable job and do things proper with a stable salary before getting into any business. I'm totally tired of hearing you guys say soon soon soon. HOW SOON IS SOON?!?!?! one month? one year? 10 years?! it just seems that the "soon" never comes... please...

say a little prayer..

is this a karma?

my grandmother is hospitalised for serious chest infection- in TTSH.. I immediately went down to see her on Saturday night when Aunt Madeline smsed me that she's hospitalised. When I saw her, again my heart sank. it hurts to see her usual cheerful self with us, to be so uncomfortable now. And i realised, she has slimmed down a little. I hope she's okay, please keep her in your prayers.. thanks my friends..

At the same time, I went to visit him.. I saw the operation on his throat is done, and his mouth has one tube less, cos it's now attached to the thing on his throat. I didn't go in cause it was already midnight. From outside, I can see him clearly, without the neck braces anymore. And I could just know its still him. He had some scratches on his legs as while. An additional bandage around his left eye, think its some cream or lubricant to help him open his eyes without pain, cos close too long already. Can see that he is recovering quite fast also. But still, we all know it won't be the same as before. But most importantly is still he gets well soon.

Don't blame the maid - it's your mother anyway, why don't you just check yourself and blame yourself? Afterall, she's just a maid, not a nurse. And she's not MY maid Ayu. Its different. And it'll never be the same anymore.

It'll just never be the same anymore..

pause...

bacteria ain't good for health, especially wounded patients.. thus.. kiat's sister requests that we do not visit him everyday, for fear of bacteria entering him.. so maybe i'll just visit him say once a week or so bah.. anyway i need to catch up with my own health.. falling sick... yea.. but its nothing compared to him...

went to visit him today.. but didn't spend much time inside. cos scare his sister unhappy also. they are just worried for him la, so are we.. so we left in less than 15 minutes.. had dinner there, den went back with XueLian..

I'm having a nose that's stucked - i mean stucked nose.. jammed nose?? whatever.. irritating.. and stupid fever GO AWAY!!! -.-"

Dear Woonkiat, we might not be there everyday with you in the hospital, but we will always be with you in our hearts.. JIA YOU!!! We will wait for you...

Dear God, please continue to watch over him and bless him.. gratefully thankful to you...

I guess its time everyone knows the importance or treasuring each and everyone around you, tell them what you want to tell them, tell them that you love them - i did...

the believe.

I believe everyone's prayers are heard.. I went to see him today again.. He's sooo much better. I felt a great relief.. he's really blessed, with one nurse who is so caring, so happened to be someone from Holy High, for those of you who knows her - Xue Lian. She's 22 this year, born in 86 batch de. ya.. She's soo nice.. she helps alot.. kinda looked like special care - but we all appreciated it. She called him... and he responded. She said " WOONKIAT... IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, GRAB MY HAND..." and he did... he grabbed her hands.. he responded.. He even managed to open one of his eyes.. god.. thank you so much.. this afternoon when i arrived there at about 4.35pm, i was alone, standing outside his room, just looking over him. i dared not go in, for fear it would affect the test results of his brain. but his sister then later told me its actually okay to talk to him. just let him know he's woonkiat and i'm emmeline, his friend/colleague... i'm here to visit him.. stay strong.. blah blah blah.. main tihng is at least he knows he's kiat. cos he was all alone and labelled "unknown chinese male" when he was admitted to hospital, for he did not bring any identification with him... well.. i'm glad.. it warms my heart seeing how his family reacts for him, each time i tell them what i saw. when i was alone in the afternoon, the moment i reached there, i saw him moved his wrists.. and also saw him trying to move his body - i think its the unbearable pain he's suffering from.. i was told he's very naughty, he keeps trying to pluck out the tubes, thus they had to tie his hand. well, i understand this because my grandmother always does the same thing that we had no choice but to tie up her hands as well. its painful to the heart, but its all for their own good..

Night time, after his family went for dinner, i went in, stood outside his room, alone, and watch over him again. this time, i went in. but i did not utter a word.. i don't know why but i just could not open my mouth. though i very much wanted to. but it seems like my lips were glued to each other. i just cant seem to open. well.. after a while, i stood outside his room again.. the nurses went in to turn his body to other side so that his skin can breathe... Xuelian told me he opened his eyes again.. he's awake.. he responded to her.. just not long after all the nurses came out, his family came back.. i told them about him opening his eyes and moving and responding.. his parents, brother and sister went in immediately and talked to him.. it was such a heartwarming sight.. "kiat ar.. we are all here.. you must be strong. very soon we all will gohome together okay... must be good.. kiat ar.. you are okay.... very good boy... kiat ar... ... ..." it was really heartwarming.. he responded to them.. he grabbed their hands.. they were so touched.. his sister teared.. his mum don even want to leave the room.. after that i went in.. hoping to see his eyes opened.. but he went back to sleep - eyes closed again.. well.. it's okay.. i believe i will..

Dear woonkiat.. jia you.. we will all stand by you.. we are with you..

Dear god, thank you for answering all our prayers.. please continue to watch over him.. thank you lord..