starts with goodbye

so many advices given to me..

i need to be more cruel sometimes.. is it true?

i need to think of myself before thinking for others.. is it true?

i need to make sure i can live for myself before helping others.. is it true?

i need to give up on them.. but can i do it?


it is really frustrating on these issues.. over and over again. I'm not sympathizing myself. but i know what I'm going through now, is not what a 19year old girl should go through. yet time and time again i repeat these "mistakes". its not a real mistake but its just a wrong move i made to make myself suffer like this. I'm really tired of all these.. it will be a matter of time for me to decide for the worst, to move out and walk out of this matter..

"please be with me. it hurts to feel like strangers.."

clear the thoughts..

hey friends..

i really appreciate my readers for worrying for me or stuffs like that.. but.. just to clarify and make thigns CLEAR.. the person who threaten me is not anyone related to banquet. so STOP spreading unnecessary rumours that might unknowingly create trouble for me..


Thank you everyone for your concern..

and thanks fusheng, kennie and judy for the help offered too. =)




Loves,
Emmeline

scared or not??

when finally living for 19years, someone actually tried to threaten me to be careful..





i'm not scared mentally, but i'm scared physically... ... ...

a question to ask myself... if one day i were to really be in danger, who would really come to help me..??? i wonder..

class day again..

my class is such a nice batch of people.. we are all so unite man. hahah! and we're going for dinner after our wrap up session on the 28th April. Might be going to M Hotel or others. haha. we've decided to go to each of the hotels that one of us are working at. LOL! so cute.. its really a very fun class.. so much interaction, compared to MDIS is a whole total difference. We all got so much to talk about - though quite got to do with work also la. but its still enriching and enducating in a way.! I'm sure gonna miss them all after graduation. =/ and gosh. I have not even completed my project.. kill me man. yet more projects coming up! -.-" gosh.. 27th April is the official opening for E-hub and 28th is my presentation for my major project for this module.. ewww... i'm feeling so lousy man.. =(

wonder if its good news or bad. whoever working at downtown east with me and reading this. Someone is coming back to join the banquet department. To you all, he might be a good person, a good choice or whatever. But to me, he's not. However, I know work is work and personal is personal and I'm a fair person (I dare to say so). He might have created trouble here before and instigate people on some things but I'm not afraid. Because he's now gonna be a full time, he jolly well don't play punk with us or else, he'll bear the consequences. Don't try to play games either. He'd better wake up or else he's got NOWHERE to go.. And be it if this is a warning or what - if history repeats and anyone follows the instigation, i think no matter who you are, its off you go.. So.. Be wise and think before you do anything, or you'll bear the consequences. Don't ask me who, soon you'll find out. I don't have to say.. I'll just do what I have to do and I do not need to give any explanation for certain things. I'm a volcano that has erupted here once. A volcano will erupt again. So don't provoke me or else I'll erupt again and give you a piece of my mind.. I can be a very nice person but don't step over me or you'll be dead. Trust me.. sometimes, things need to have control is it is over the limit..


On the side note - I'm thinking if i should sign up with starhub mobile for a new line and get number retension.. my phone is no longer a phone man, its a TV. Nokia TV.. seen before? haha.. shall take a picture of it soon and show to everyone. LOL!!


take care to all.. Fool's day is coming... =D hahah!!

come to think of it - could it be a fool's joke? hmm.. cant be la.. whatever..

tying the knot of 10 years of love, and continue counting..

the fated
love...

looking at the express video of cousin Raymond and wifey Alicia, believe it of not, i teared. I don't know if its emotional or what. I recalled the day my aunt Joey was married.. my brother and I was over at their house since the morning and seen through the whole procedure.. from the early breakfast thingy till the make up and setting of hair, till changing to her gown to andrew coming.. i recall tearing at that time too.. I don't know why.. it just comes.. its like in the shoes of their parents " finally you tying the knot and getting married".

Don't know if I'm crazy or what.. but often i kept asking myself, what would mine be like? from the relationship to tying the knot. would it be blissful? like ray-cia.. 10 years.. since their secondary school days till now they are married.. so envious.. so loving.. when will i have that kind of feeling? It's good to be single.. but it's better to have someone to share your joys and sorrows with. and yet time and time i know i cant afford to get into one... I don dare, somehow, anymore. after the last which was 2 years ago.. the fear is there somehow.. thus i just gotta live life as per normal..

At work - I'm given a chance to upgrade myself, i may be prepared and have the ability to, but i just don't wish to be that high yet. I don't feel comfortable.. because of my surroundings.. however, its a good portfolio for myself.. a guranteed benefit. a gurantee proof that I'm good.. but. i don't know. people are saying that i'm stupid if i were to reject it.. I'm still considering and thinking about it. should i accept it or not.. *sigh its gonna be a double step up. how??

"the most important thing, is to be yourself... yes.. but i
think i ain't myself. i cant do the things i love, due to restrictions.. "

to the crew..

i didn't meant it to happened.. i was too strained.. too.. whatever.. but i will not blame anyone but myself still.. sorry guys..

hypnotized...

sometimes, the good times, DTE is actually a very nice place to work at..

however, the bad times, most of the times, it sucks.. sooner or later I'll die of heart attack or high blood pressure because of DTE. -.-"


I don't know if i should hate or like my character.. some of it.. i really hate it if i'm being accused of doing something i did not do.. and i will really fight all the way to INSIST that I DID NOT DO IT! fuck it.. can't you just admit that the fault lies with you and not me! if i was at fault do you think i would bother to go to your office to clarify with you?! i'm not nuts man! i really hate it man.. argh... why are there people like that! does mistakes but does not want to admit it.. COWARDS!

In the working society, there's two kinds of people.. the people who work smart and the people who work hard. Mostly and majority, the top management people are the people who work smart. they have no guts and they carry balls.. they do not dare to take full responsibility of something and will go to the extend of pushing the responsibility to their immediate boss. WTF! the other kind, are the people who work hard... these are mostly and always the lower management, the floor staff, the operational staffs.. they work hard and almost all their life away, taking full responsibility of things going on.. when thigns goes well, the credit goes to their immediate boss - the management. when things goes wrong, the fault goes to the hardworking staff thenselves - sacked or demoted or whatever.. ridiculous isn't it??!!

yea man.. i really am living a no day no night life.. and my dark circles!!!!~~~ oh oh oh... *faints*....




"i ain't a kiddo so don't try to fool my, you idiot!"