impact

I think I'm having the impact because of the memories we used to have..

The special moments.. that one will never forget, especially if it is special to one.

It was special to me..

It is special to me..

Stay Strong.. we'll all be there for you..

the dream..

Be strong, get well soon....

I had this dream last night.. that some fella called me up to tell me he's out of the SICU ward. and he could talk, and that fella passed the phone to him. I was talking to him...

I went to visit him again today. We were not supposed to talk to him or anything so as not to agitate him. However, when my other part timers visited him today, they didn't know.. aparently, i was told that someone talked to him. and they saw him teared.. once again, my heart sunk.. When I saw him today, its still the same. His sister came to talk to us and told us he's better today... Seriously, I don't feel good in me. Especially when we were about to leave, We went up, wanting to look for his family members and inform them. Upon reaching the ward, We saw his brother and sister, both with teary eyes. I told them we're going off, and asked again to see if he's okay. Once again his sister siad he's okay. I wanted to go in see him again but his sister said doctors said let him rest. I don't feel good. really. AND FOR CORRECTION - SICU doesn"t stand for SUB-ICU ward.. that stupid smart alec fella told me that. it actually stands for SURGICAL ICU WARD. It really hurts, alot...

Woonkiat.. please stay strong and be strong. be determined. just like the way you were when you skidded from your bike. You had minor injuries but you still wanted to go blading, you still went cycling and riding your bike. Though this time you might not be able to do so anymore, but there's still many other things you can do. Please.. be strong and pull through this.. we are all with you..

Whoever is reading, I beg you. Please help to pray for my friend, Whatever religion you are in. Please.. help me... Pray for his recovery. Pray for his health. Pray for his everything.

Dear god, i know there must be a reason to why you want to punish him. there must be a reason why this has to happen to him..but please i beg you.. please bless him to recover soon. bless his family... bless for his health.. please i beg you... thank you lord..I pray...


On the positive side, true friend is back from Taiwan trip and bought me stuffs! I just can't wait.. But that dear friend will the priority these days...

If it is possible, exchange me instead.....

the hit..

I don't really know how I want to start my feelings today.


My friend, my ex-boyfriend, my part timer, my colleague, Woonkiat......

He met with a fatal accident. He was knocked down by a bus 136 near his house, when he was riding bicycle. Initially, we all just thought he was missing cause i received a phone call this morning from Reymund asking me if I did contact woonkiat since yesterday as he hasn't gone home and cannot be contacted since then. I was already very worried from then, and tried all possibilities asking people around, his close friends and whoever I thought could be with him. But to no avail. Even till the afternoon, there was no news at all. Until the late evening at about 5plus, Someone called me and told me Woonkiat is found - In Tan Tock Seng Hospital now. My heart sunk... I was totally shocked and lost for words also after I hung up the phone. I was at my aunt house at Eunos then when Reymund called me and offered to come pick me up to go visit him together with JianLiang and HuiBing. I was told he's fine, by the friend who found him. BUT upon reaching TTSH and I called that fella up to ask which level he is in, I was told 3rd Level - which through my knowledge, I know it is the level for all patients under the Intensive Care Unit. I was like shocked. Initially I wasn't feeling that bad, until I came to find out that he is in the Sub-ICU Ward, I was like lost. I knew it was gonna be very bad. Leg broke and fractured, Lungs punctured ribs think got break, and jaw also kenna till need to go plastic surgery, that's roughly what I heard from his family. When I went in to visit him and saw him, my heart toally sunk. The water tap started to break loose and opened. I cried. Even now when typing this, I'm still not feeling good in me and still tearing but still can control. I couldn't bear to see him on his bed like this. Though he is conscious, but he's sleeping because they gave him morphine to keep him from the pain. It was so hurtful that it pierced through my heart. Angeline and Xavier was there as well and she also could not take it and cried. Its like first time our direct friend met with such an accident. Till now I'm still very worried.. All I wish for is that he get well soon and be out of the ICU ward ASAP. May God Bless his please..... he might not be able to ride his bicycle or motorbike anymore in the future...



"Dear God, Thank you for keeping him with us still, but please bless my friend to be out of the ICU ward asap, and that he can recover speedily. Please..."

exhausted..

it seems that owing sleep is really something that one cannot pay back. I'm really like totally exhausted already.. When can I ever feel energetic again? hai...

I don't know what is going wrong with me.. I've been a frequent late comer for the past few months.. keep overslept. I don't know man. Does stress causes such problems? f*** man.. I'm so sick and tired of myself also. How can I help myself?

Apart from all these exhaustness, I just want to say a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDATE TO MY DEAREST MISS HENG BILING! =D Though you can't meet me today, it's okay, nevermind. YOU WATCH OUT! LOL! joking la. haha. There will definitely be a next time no worries. As long as you're happy, everyday will be your birthdATE! =D haha! take care and I'm always around!!


on a side note - Is it time to look for a new home?? any recommendations??

BBQ and fun! =)

woohoo... I'm like so tired... LOL. I want to talk about the small mini gathering BBQ we had from Monday to Wedesday. Jessie, Derick, Angeline, Xiaowen and I! =D haha. Just the five of us. we had a BBQ! cute right! LOL! It was very fun. Derick is our chef for both nights, LOL. Went to buy things den prepare den BBQ. He's a good chef! the food are all tasty and delicious! Especially the prawns wrapped with bacon. haha all of us was like asking for more(PEPSI)! -.-" LOL! towards the later part, Derick suggested that we play some games. LOL! it was like totally funny. haha.. we were sitting in one round. From clockwise - Jessie-Derick-Xiaowen-Emmeline-Angeline den back to Jessie. LOL! we were initially playing this game called "big fish small fish" whereby we have to use our hands for action. When we say BIG FISH, we have to do a small fish action, when we say SMALL FISH, we have to do a big fish action. den can reverse also. LOL! Jessie keep kenna to drink. LOL!! den we played 007. LOL! also very fun la. but i don't know how to describe it here. lol. it's like damn fun la. we were laughing all the way like mad. Angeline and I were like watching show. LOL. cos of Xiaowen and Jessie. LOL! Second night was only The four of us, without Xiaowen cos she had to go home for Dinner. ya. Jessie, Derick and I went for swimming first before going to FairPrice to buy more food for late BBQ. LOL! Angeline joined us for the bbq later. yea. we had fun talking all sorts of craps.. the most irritating part was that Don't know how they started to talk about ghost stories.. -.-" experiences in Downtown somemore! -.-" argh.. well. we all slept at about 4am, with Derick the first one to KO! LOL! den he started his engine.. -.-" from Proton Saga to Nissan Serena to Subaru to Evo. LOL! joking. hahha.. the sad thing is I start work at 7am!!! =( sad man... den go work super tired sia...

Its fun to have such cute gatherings once in a while. =)

When I start to feel sick and tired of everything, I mean everything...

sick chicken..

Yea. the sick chicken for today is me. had a very bad headache and fever. =(, therefore couldn't go work today.



I went swimming last night after work with Jessie and Juli. it's been such a Loooooonnnnggggg time since i last went swimming man. like years years ago that i can't even remember when. haha. Had about an hour plus of swimming time. It's so fun and tiring at the same time. I was like swimming a little in the earlier part and i got tired. but after that just kept swimming thru and fro. Too long no swim liao. and didn't have goggles also. yea. Gonna get one soon. It's gonna be a routine. LOL. darn. I will not neglect my blades. ANGELINE STEVEN WOONKIAT XAVIER and cyclist ESMOND! PLAN A DATE AND GO BLADING AGAIN LEH!!! LOL! anyway, i swear, i'm gonna start a healthier life soon. whenever i have time, it'll be gym, swimming or blading. even alone - hopefully =X.. weight losing program.. LOL!!!



Getting quite sick and tired of everything, and i meant EVERYTHING. from home to work. Nothing seems to be right somehow. I really hate the fact that I'm always questioned about him - What is he doing? where is he? why he need so much money? why this why that. Freak! I'm not him so stop asking me!!! I'm not him!

messed up feelings..

after another long period of crazy busy week preparing for the U Launch and the May Day Rally where by both events was graced by PM Lee Hsien Loong.. the "indirect" troublemaker for everyone. Its because of him coming, everythign has to be done like almost to perfection! 99.99999% perfect. gosh.. we had to iron like 1500 chair covers whereby most of it was done by xiaowen. LOL! =X poor her. i need to propose to Kat to do out one Diploma in Ironing and present it to Xiaowen liao. hahha.. ironvivor. LOL! whatever.. anyway all the setups done for both events were crazy. because there were sooo many last minute changes here and there. Its like a 5 minutes sentence to say for a 5 hour or even 5 days work to be done!!! hai.. but what to do.. thigns still have to be done.. tolerance lo... when both events was over, the feeling was like WOAH! so relieved.. thought there's another two more this weekend.. argh.. -.-" May Day Model Workers Award and the May Day Carnival.. the yearly events.. the yearly crazy events. LOL! =X all the May Day May Day events because its Labour Day month and NTUC is the chief for the Labour movement.. hai..blahs....

because of all these events, i can't do my project. too busy and jam packed with work issues that i totally cannot concentrate on my project. gotta rush off everything by end of this month. god save me!

finally had our Banquet BBQ last Sunday. It was a very last minute planned one, but still it was fun in a way la. yea. Thanks to all those people who turned up and also many thanks to Derick who drove me to buy the food and also helped us marinate the sotong and also the crab which weizhen they all suggested to ask him to help marinate. LOL!! wth.. Its gonna be paiseh if we don't ask him to stay for the BBQ, so we decided to ask and make him stay on for the bbq. at least not so bad la. haha. Jessie was so funny, cos she told me, if she isn't attached with her 10years bf now, she would have gone to woo Derick. LOL! i laughed my ass off!! =XX LOL! well he's nice no doubt la. haha. and to think Jessie could ask me to consider him. He's twice my age for goodness sake!! =X i'm 19 and he's 36! but hor.. jessie told me her parents age. Mum born in the 1950s and dad born in the 1930s.. i'm 1989 he's 1972...er.... LOL!! whatever la. haha..LOL! nonsense. haha. blah blah blah.....

The freaking sad and bad news for me.. I don't know gotta wait till when den can get my phone le. I went down to Cuppage road today - so freaking far - just to sign up for my corporate line and get a new phone cos my current phone is spoiled. I cannot sign up mobile line with Starhub anymore because I'm below 21years and I'm only allowed to hold only one Mobile line - which i already do because of the MaxMobile device which I've gotten for my brother. idiot la. and now he wants to sell off his laptoop, leaving me with that stupid device when i already have internet at home. hai... I really give up man.. the only way out is that i transfer the internet thingy to someone else's name and then i use my name to sign up for the mobile line.. hai.. who can i go to for help?? =/ hai...

For the last time I'm gonna say, I've totally given up on this f*****. I'm really tired, to the extend, i really don't even wish to go home at all. If I can, I owuld have moved out of this place. But it's because of one person that I tell myself I cannot do that - my dad. But he's also been giving me problems and stressing me out lately. I'm really tired. To the extend I've started to s**** alot nowadays. I'm really sorry about it but I can't help it. It's really pushing me too hard.

"The whispers turn to shouting,
The shouting turns to tears.
Your tears turn into laughter,
And it takes away our fears."

"Early Summer,

It's like playing on repeat.

Just like when we would meet,

When we would meet."

"Deep in my heart I'm concealing,

Things that I'm longing to say.

Scared to confess what I'm feeling,

Frightened you'll slip away,

You Must Love Me..."